Guide to Surviving Westmount in 2024

By: Aiza

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1. Hungry? Buy snacks from the school vending machine, they are SUPER cheap and definitely NOT expired.

2. Despite common belief, the pinnies worn during gym are actually the cleanest thing ever. (They were last washed in 1998.)

3. For the new students: Teachers are aliens, do not approach. Some Westmount teachers have even been spotted in UFOS!

4. If you take the school bus, forget all hopes and dreams of getting home early. Your bus is always going to be late. Always. (Unless you're on bus A, in which case, you got REALLY lucky).

5. Make sure you do all your homework at 12 AM - it's the most productive time of the day. (Feel free to spend the rest of your time: gaming, texting, watching netflix, anything both teachers and parents would consider a waste of your time) 

6. Never use your locker. It’s much better to carry your backpack everywhere and give yourself severe back problems. Trust us - it’s way more efficient.

7. Binders? Illegal. The more disorganized you are, the better. It's scientifically proven that messy environments aid in a Westmount student’s focus. 

8. It’s okay, you don’t HAVE to wash your gym shirt yet, it's only been 8 months. In fact, we recommend not bringing your gym shirt at all - we all know you're too lazy to change. 

9. Flex time was NEVER meant for studying. 

10. New year's resolutions are overrated.

11. Using the washroom beside student services? Don't worry, that place is squeaky clean. The stalls even lock!

12. New years are the perfect time to stress about how fast time is passing and how much you still need to achieve.